Maybe Baby I Just Wanna Forget

http://www.hulu.com/watch/5348/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-joining-the-cause

Ok, so abortion isn't funny.
But "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" is.

I figured this one would need a humorous beginning because it's heavy stuff.

Let's just put it out there: I'm pro-choice. I have never been pregnant, so in the event of a pregnancy there is no way for me to predict what I would do. I just know that I would want the option of abortion and I don't think I or anyone else has the right to take that option away from others.

More than likely, I would have an abortion if I got pregnant in high school or college. It's not something I take lightly, because I protect myself and there is no reason I should ever get pregnant anyways. But any time I enter a physical relationship, I have to talk about my options, and think about them.

If I were to get pregnant soon after college, I would be like this girl:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/5348/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-joining-the-cause

Adoption is a good option to have. I don't intend to ever be pregnant and have always wanted to adopt myself. I think that having an overpopulated world and unfit parents who are looking for better lives for their children, it is the responsible thing to do.

After my last blog post, I was challenged on plurk:
awritedesign asked: what about those who don't want a baby, have the education and the resources, but don't have the control to "wrap it up" all the time?

First I say, if you don't have the control to wrap it up, get on the pill or the patch or the shot or what have you.

Second, I think if you have the means to take care of a child but don't want one, your options should be the same as those who do not have the means. I may not agree with them all, but ultimately it is not my decision or business to make those decisions for others.

I think prevention is ultimately the best option, and if you're not responsible enough to protect yourself then you shouldn't be having sex. Plain and simple.

I think that ultimately it is a personal decision, between the mother and father, in some cases just the mother.

I don't know why this topic is one that I kind of obsess over, as I said I have never been pregnant. Maybe it's because I always wanted to adopt, even before the nephews proved my point. The fact that I don't have that "mom" gene, the one that makes me want my OWN child, has always perplexed me. It doesn't bother me, but I do find it strange that the desire is completely absent to be pregnant.

Anyways, this was rambly, and unfortunately late (thanks for forgiveness Tony).

But! I will post double bloggage this week!

Let's Talk About Sex (Babies)

It's time to have "the talk."

Or at least one of them. I feel like a parent already because I've been discussing the harmful effects of drugs and drinking and what not.

But something else has been weighing on my mind. Something I am frightful of, not because I think it has any chance of affecting me, but because I have seen it swallow up my friends and acquaintances, and even complete strangers.

That thing is unsafe sex. Yes, it’s that talk, “the birds and the bees.”

I am not of the delusional ideal that sex is reserved for marriage. It's not realistic and it's already too late for most of my audience, I'm sure. I think that what you do with your own body is your own business, to a certain extent.

If you're the village bicycle, cool. If you really are going to save your virginity for marriage, cool. It is not my business or my concern how often or with whom anyone experiences sex.

But for the love, PLEASE protect yourself. It becomes more than an individual choice when a baby is involved.

Teenage pregnancy was a very real thing at my high school, and in Chelan in general. Off the top of my head I can count 14 girls who got pregnant in high school or within a year after. This might not seem like a lot, but it's a small town. Also, these are just the girls that carried their babies to term, I am also not of the delusion that nobody ever had an abortion.





Even though both of these shows try to focus on how hard it is to have a child when you haven't finished high school, it still seems like people aren't learning their lesson! In an age where birth control is existent, easily accessible, usually free, and simple, I find it insane that people are still experiencing unwanted pregnancies. I know that some religions don’t believe in birth control, but nobody follows all the rules all the time, and I think this might be a rule worth breaking.

Although I know there are people who obsess over having a child and poke holes in their boyfriend's condoms, I don't think that the majority of these pregnancies are the result of that. If you’re willing to sleep with a homeless man just to get pregnant, you need help far beyond what Sex Ed can give you.



I hated listening to those dumb girls on Maury after school everyday, but there was nothing else on TV.

What I do enjoy is the occasional Lifetime movie, and the executives at Lifetime must have shit themselves when they heard about this:




There is a lot of information out there that debunks the actual existence of a pregnancy pact at Gloucester, but there was 18 pregnant girls in a small town. Lifetime definitely over-dramaticized the story, and formed some kind of unrealistic story to the tune of:



The fact of the matter is that even if there wasn’t a pact, there is proof that a lot of these girls intentionally got pregnant.
For more information check out: http://www.gloucester18.com/index.php

My peers in Chelan are getting pregnant at an alarming rate as well. One of them I know to be trying to trap her ex boyfriend into a relationship, unsuccessfully. One of them had a disturbing home life and couldn’t wait to start a family of her own. One of them felt like a baby was the only person that could possibly love her.

I understand that a lot of people have issues. Baby syndrome might be kind of like an eating disorder, a control issue.

But for many, pure ignorance causes these unwanted and usually unsupported babies.

I mean, it doesn't take much of an education to use a condom, or take a pill. The fact of the matter is that people just don't want to, or they're afraid to buy condoms at the store where someone's mom works, or they don't like the feeling, or the worst: they think pulling out works.

I have seen that even married couples who try to have a baby might not be capable of taking care of them. It is important to protect yourself and to protect the unborn life. DO NOT HAVE BABIES UNTIL YOU ARE READY. If you want to have sex, fine, but you should do what I’m about to do to this blog:

WRAP IT UP.

Plastic Cup Politics

This is the continuation of my last blog post. It helps to read the first and get some background!

When my sister was a Junior in high school she moved her room out into the garage side room. We had been fostering Jenna's friend Lindsay for a few months. Jenna and Lindsay had all the freedom in the world.

One day, I recall seeing Jenna crying on the stairs in our foyer. Mom was giving a look that was hard to read. Dad asked what was wrong and mom said, "Well obviously she was on the list."

I was confused, but I didn't want to interrupt this not-so-warm family moment to ask what the hell was going on. Lindsay later admitted she was on the list too, which was assumed.

Finally, after a series of tense conversations that I failed to eavesdrop on effectively, my sister and Lindsay led me into their room to explain.

That weekend there had been a party at the Caravel, a hotel just down the street from our house. Jenna and Lindsay had attended. At the party there were a few kids that didn't normally run in those circles, and at least one of them was spying for the high school. Yes, the administration in Chelan really is THAT stereotypical and pathetic. Like a Lifetime movie.

"The List" was the one that the principal was given by the party imposter. Several students had already been called in to the office to tell their side of the story, and one had tipped off Jenna and Lindsay that they were indeed on it.

Naturally they were called in, and both of them were punished. Jenna was involved in so many things, including cheerleading, FBLA, FCCLA, student government, Honor Society, and Junior Miss. She was kicked out of each organization. She had signed an honor code, and she knew the risks, but the backlash she faced was ridiculous. One teacher, who ran the school website and yearbook, attempted to photoshop her out of any picture she was in representing a club or sport. The gossip got around and some of her friends were forbidden from hanging out with her. A matter that should have been private and discreet turned into public humiliation.

Jenna's reputation was soiled, and in a small town it took no time for everyone to find out what had happened. So Jenna got kind of depressed. Instead of doing the work necessary to regain entry to her many involvements, Jenna started partying more often and just generally saying "Fuck it and fuck you."

My parents struggled to discipline her because she was already so unhappy, and the pressure for me to stay out of trouble multiplied.

Gossip is one of the most poisonous parasites imaginable. Even if I hadn't grown up in a small town, I would have dealt with it. It is a fact of life.

I watched myself fall victim to this parasite when I would repeat secrets that I had promised not to. Secrets that weren't mine. I never went to far as to make something up, but I know others do.

Gossip has taken a turn for the worse in the technological age. There are entire CHANNELS on tv that focus on celebrity personal lives. Myspace and Facebook have added to our ability to spread rumors at lightspeed.

But then sometimes, gossip can be a helpful thing.

Take into consideration the first day of Christmas break this year. My parents called me soon after my final to ask if I could assist them in taking care of my nephews over the break. With one parent in jail and the other in the hospital from an overdose, my nephews were removed from their family and placed into ours.

I come from humble beginnings, I'm not poor, but I am frugal.
Suddenly my nearly-retired parents were caring for 3 boys under the age of 6, who came with nothing but the clothes on their back. However, because of gossip, friends and coworkers began donating diapers, formula, toys and clothes to us by the box. My family has never been the type to ask for the things we need help with, but we were so blessed to receive the help.

I feel that overall, gossip is a negative thing, but maybe we just need to be more weary of what we are truly saying.

My Faith Was So Much Stronger Then... When I Was Young

There are few things in my life that so obviously contributed to the person I am today. I can only think of four off the top of my head:
1. My parents
2. My sister
3. My half-brother
4. My hometown

1.) My parents have stayed married my entire life, and are married to this day. I was one of only 2 people in my group of friends growing up whose parents were still together. Both of our dad's, however, had previous marriages. Though I am not from a broken home, my dad's ex-wife and their son, my half brother Jason, contributed to the chaos that is my family. My parents only grounded me twice in 18 years, and both times I deserved more than they gave me. That's not to say I got away with a lot, on the other hand I just respected their rules which I found quite reasonable. My mom was raised in a very strict religious sect (Seventh-Day-Adventist) and became the "lenient" parent when she got married to a Lutheran and abandoned her childhood religion. My dad came from a very traditional Norwegian family and has thus been the "strict" parent. What they formed with their children was the perfect balance of allowing us to have social lives and make mistakes, without allowing us to end up on the streets or like Jason, who we'll get to later. My parents are both high pressure business people that are very successful at what they do. They instilled in me a love of reading at a young age, a large vocabulary, and the ability to address large crowds of people with little fear. My sister and I have both become our parents in the sense that we thrive off of being busy.

2.) My sister, Jenna, is 4 years, 4 days, and 4 hours older than me. We are both Sagittarius', which has become apparent in the past 10 years or so. We are closer than most siblings. It breaks my heart to see that some people so clearly dislike their brothers and sisters, where Jenna and I had a ridiculously close relationship. She let me read her journals, we voluntarily shared a bedroom, traveled Japan and Europe together, and rarely fought. Jenna lived a much edgier life than me. In high school she started dating an older guy and began partying and enjoying her youth. I was a bit more of a late bloomer, but she helped me to learn from her mistakes. We also survived "the man outside the window" (MOW) together. MOW was a ghost or spirit that haunted the house we lived in for 16 years. Part of the reason we shared a room much longer than we needed to. Now, Jenna is in Seattle and we still try to get together at least every couple of weeks, (hence my extra-long weekend in Canada.) When we are reunited we tend to stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking about whatever crosses our mind. She is headed to Korea in March to teach English for a year and I am convulsing at the thought of not seeing her for so long.

3.) I touched on the subject of Jason a bit in my last post. Jason is my fathers son from a previous marriage and my half brother. He is considerably older than me (about 20 years) and has had a lot of problems in his life. Jason began using drugs at age 12, and has struggled with addiction for 28 years. Jason has done every drug you could ever think of, with lifelong struggles with alcohol, meth, and heroin. When I was about 8 or 9 I witnessed him overdosing on meth and I barely knew what was wrong with him yet. To my father's credit, I know that he will never stop loving me no matter what I do because he has put up with and fought for Jason through so many screw ups. To my mother's credit, she has supported my dad through these struggles though she has no blood ties to Jason. My sister and I have always had to walk on eggshells around our parents, because they don't want us to turn out like him. If anything, my experiences with Jason have pushed me away from drugs. I love my brother, but I have a lot of anger towards him because now he has 3 children he needs to worry about. My nephews are the shining light in this whole situation, and currently in my family's care because Jason and his wife have screwed up majorly. The realization that I have 3 children in my life that need to break the cycle of addiction has been terrifying.

4.) Chelan, WA. Home of Lake Chelan, second cleanest lake in the U.S. and popular tourist destination. It's easy for the outside world to believe that Chelan is this fantasy party place because most of those people only visit between Memorial Day and Labor Day. For the other 8 and a half months, however, it's any other small town. I have no real memories of my life before I moved to Chelan, and lived there up until I moved to Bellingham for school. Chelan is one of those stereotypical small towns where the entire population worships the basketball teams/players and nothing else really matters. (Think Friday Night Lights, but basketball). If you went to a party and the starting lineup was there, you were sure not to get in trouble with the school or the police, assuming it's before State. I was a cheerleader and though my goal was to support the team, I was not put on the same pedestal. Gossip is another daily realization in Chelan. Everyone is always in your business, you know all the cops by first name, and your last name could make or break you. People always ask so I'll just throw it out there: There were 300 kids in my high school and 80 in my graduating class. My school had little diversity, it was 60% white and 40% Hispanic.

The reason I have opened up this blog to a little bit of my history is because I feel that all of these things are important to understand the following story, and how the context of parasites led me to this memory.

(Continued in next blog)

Maybe You're Better Off This Way

So I knew this girl, let's call her Melanie*. She was in my sister's sorority and always seemed like a perfectly nice, down to earth girl. One day my sister called me, short of breath and clearly shaken by something. This is how the conversation went down:

Me: Jenna, what's wrong?
Jenna: You remember Melanie? You met her at the Heaven and Hell party?
M: Yeah, is she okay?
J: I guess she went to this rave in Vantage this weekend, and she tried acid.
M: Oh no, Jen, she didn't... die? (Jenna had lost a good friend earlier that year to an Overdose)
J: No, but she lives with Rose* and I guess after she got back she was acting really weird. She took all their pictures off the wall and drew designs on them, and threw away all her clothes and said she's done with material possessions. Rose said she gave her a day to be a little weird, but it's been like 4 days and she's still in lala land.
K: Oh my God... Jenna what's going to happen?
J: Rose called Melanie's mom, she's taking her to a psych ward to get evaluated...

A week later I found out that Melanie had been admitted to the mental institution for an indefinite period of time. I had always heard stories about people doing acid and "never coming back," but I thought it was an urban legend. Melanie had a hereditary mental illness in her family that changed the chemistry in her brain and caused her to have a permanent reaction to the drug. After about 3 weeks in the mental institution, she was released and given medication to help her "normalize" her life.

Here's the truly twisted part though. Melanie likes her life better now. She'll frequently stop taking her pills because she prefers her drug-addled psyche to her previous life. So my question is, who's to say what is better for her?

In class we discussed the idea that people infected with parasites might be happier that way. Melanie was infected with what I find to be one of the most interesting parasites of all: drugs. She liked who she was on a permanent acid trip, much like the sex-crazed hosts of the Shivers.

Perhaps this constant struggle to be "normal" or "sane" is a parasite in itself. Maybe Melanie feels more like herself than she ever has before. Even if the happiness she feels is a side-effect of the drug, she doesn't know any differently.

On the other side of the spectrum, I have dealt with an older brother who struggles with an addiction to Crystal Meth. I have known this since before I truly understood what drugs were. I knew he was "sick" and "different." He was considerably older than me and by the time I was aware of his condition, he had moved out of my parents house and into some drug den on the West side of the mountains. I became interested in my brother's struggle, because at this point I still believed that he could change.

This is when I read one of the most powerful books that had the biggest effect on me. It is called "Crank" and it is written by the mother of a meth addict in the daughters point of view. This opened me up to the realization that many meth users create alternate personalities to somehow justify or explain their use. This helped me understand why my brother sometimes called himself "Samuel," which was not his name. When he was Samuel, he was high. You could see it in his eyes, or rather see nothing in his eyes. He looked like any trace of his soul was gone.

I have never been an anti-drug crusader or anything, but I have seen how drugs can change people and turn them into someone completely different. Samuel was not my brother. Melanie will never be the same. The drug parasite is one that I would like to further understand, but I don't know if I will ever truly be able to grasp the way it can permanently alter your personality, because I will never make the mistakes that have been waved in front of my face.

I Tremble... They're Gonna Eat Me Alive

When I was younger, I had night terrors. I would awake in the middle of the night from some half-conscious nightmare that was so real, I would be literally paralyzed with fear. I would hide under my blanket and quiver uncontrollably for hours at a time, until I would finally pass out from exhaustion.

To me, a shiver wasn't something that occurred when it was chilly out, a shiver was part of the routine.

Though the nightmares only come rarely anymore, I still remember the earth-stopping fear that debilitated me as a child. I have since decided that I'm not going to be afraid anymore, and have pulled in the opposite direction. I had a period of time where I lived in a legitimately haunted house, I have become quite the scary movie fiend, and have formed a near obsession with paranormal theories and research. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism, but it seems to be working.

I was beyond excited to watch "Shivers" in class, because even the cheesiest of horror films is delightful to me. I got the impression from the description that the movie would be something similar to "The Faculty," which is one of few "parasite" movies that I have seen. I thought Shivers was a bit more of a frightening idea though, because the people were trapped within this little apartment community. When the Doctor is trying to escape and finally finds a way outside, he realizes that the outside world is no longer safe. In the final scene, it becomes obvious that the parasite will only continue to spread. This was different from The Faculty, because the main character never gets infected, and the people all end up normal in the end.

In Shivers, the images seemed humorous and ridiculous, but the concepts were scary. Not only would it be heartbreaking to have moving lumps in your stomach, but the sexual and forceful nature of spreading the parasite borders on my biggest fear: rape. Some people in class mentioned that once infected, the people seemed happy and that perhaps it's not the worst thing that could have happened. However, having my actions altered by an outside source, whether happy or not, still seems like a loss of soul, something I find to be worthy of my fear.

I think my fears are all based on hypothetical or completely improbable situations. FDR said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." It seems that since I was a little kid, the fear is the biggest parasite of all. it takes over my mind, threatens my happiness, invites itself in.

I'm Stuck In The Middle And It's: Parasites

This should be a swift transition considering I have been neglecting my blog for a few months now, but for those who actually read it (thanks by the way!) it is going to take a new form for a while.

I am currently enrolled in English 203, Writing in Context: Parasites. Basically everything we read or write or discuss is in the context for parasites. This can relate to vampires, diseases, technology and the lot. We have weekly blog posts, and since I already have a blog I'm going to utilize it for the class. I may intermix normal blog posts or I may wait until the class is over, but I will be back!

Tony and the class:
The "funny" "not funny" scale doesn't necessarily pertain to the class blogs, so just use them as a "like" or "dislike!"

Why Don't You Get A Job?

I know we're all sick of hearing about the economy.
"stimulus"
"bail-out"
"recession"
yadda yadda yadda.

I am MORE than aware, every channel in existence, that Americans are poor.
I have learned this the hard way. I started life in a new town this summer, and along with this change I had to give up my tride and true summer job in my home town.

Here in Bellingham, it is seemingly impossible to get a job. The term "poor college student" hasn't even begun to make sense, until now. I thought it was hard to have only $800 FAFSA checks every 3 months, but now I am living in near poverty.

I currently have only $30 in my bank account, a $100 Visa gift card with $25 used up, and a full tank of gas in my car. I have never had less money since I first worked a summer job 3 years ago, and before then my parents still paid for everything.

Tonight, I stayed in and watched "America's Got Talent" because I couldn't afford to go see Transformers 2. This is my life now:

9:00 AM- wake up
9:40 AM- leave for campus
10:00 AM- Comm 220
11:50 AM- class gets out
12:20 PM- return home
12:30 PM- nap
2:00 PM- uselessly drop off resumes, fill out applications, and beg for employment
5:00 PM- eat dinner
6:00 PM- check craigslist for jobs one more time, just in case.
6:30 PM- facebook
9:00 PM- either watch primetime television or watch Breaking Bad on my laptop
11:00 PM- sleep

Now folks, it's not because I'm lazy, this is all I can afford to do. I always thought getting up for work everyday was a drag, but now I wish I had something to occupy my time, because then I would have enough money to see a movie or go to Chelan for the weekend.

Here are some summer employment tips:
1. If you have a job, don't bitch about it. I would gladly switch you places.
2. "We're always accepting applications" means "We're not hiring, but here's a piece of paper you can fill out and waste your time."
3. Don't get your hopes up, even if you're charming, bond with the boss, and feel good about your resume. Chances are, they won't call you back.
4. Don't apply for a retail job if you only have restaurant experience, you have WAY too much competition for that to work.
5. Start stripping or whoring yourself on the corner, that's a recession proof job.
6. You can't be picky about the job you want, then you decrease your chances of 1 in a million to 1 in 5 billion.

Or, you can simply enjoy the finer things in life. Who needs money right?
I mean REALLY, eating, socializing, and having a place to live are completely overrated.

In short, Money can't buy me happiness, but I'm happiest when I have money.

I'm On The Sad Side of a Nowhere Town...

Tomorrow afternoon I will journey towards Lake Chelan, the vortex of Memorial Day Weekend. This 3-day weekend is cherished to all college students: either the first weekend of summer break or the last weekend of celebration before finals. Now if you're from Washington State, you may have heard of Lake Chelan. It's a small town, with a nice lake, and it's in a rainshadow... so no stereotypical Washington rainy weather.

Although this will be my first road trip to Chelan for Memorial Day, it is not my first time being there on this infamous weekend. Yes, it's true, Chelan is my home town, people actually live there between September and May. This will be a new perspective completely... but I am going to indulge you on a few of the things I observed as a local in a tourist town.

HOW TO BE A GOOD TOURIST:
1. Do not ask "Do you have a high school here?" The population is 3,000, not 3.
2. Do not forget your basic driving rules. If there are four stop signs, the person who stopped first goes first, DON'T JUST FOLLOW THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU.
3. Throw your garbage in a garbage can. Those are the cans that generally have garbage in them. Not to be confused with the grass, lake, or street.
4. Just don't be stupid. I understand the vacation mentality, but that's not an excuse to cause fights, jump headfirst into shallow water, or vandalize local property.

Chelan is a small town. My high school had about 300 kids in it. There is literally 2 streets with business on them, and recently the addition of a Wal-Mart and a Starbucks was a local scandal. There are no fast-food restaurants and the nearest mall is 45 minutes away. Our popularity for college students is the sunny weather, the 55 miles of lake to boat and jet ski on, and the "omg it's so cute" quality.

But to a local, it's not cute. It's the same 14 streets you've driven on your entire life.
It's dreadfully boring. There's a putt putt course and a bowling alley, but that's all. If you're 21, you have 5 bars to choose from.

Chelan's appeal in the "nature" category is obvious, but the "activities" are limited, and it's a mystery to me. I am going to make this trek to see friends that I grew up with, but if I had no history there, would I still have gone?
Who knows. Not me.

Pray that Luda can make it! She's been overheating a lot lately and it's going to be plenty warm out!

The Five People You Meet (at Western)

Ahhh college...
Although I arguably go to the coolest college ever (go Vikings!), I sometimes wonder if I get the full experience here. Western Washington University is one of VERY FEW Universities in the U.S. that don't have a Greek system. Don't let this fool you, we have some raging parties with plenty of slutty dress up themes, but frats and sororities add an entirely different dynamic to college life. You have bros, bitches, and false camaraderie with a Greek system!

However, after comparing notes with friends across the country at various colleges, I have deducted that there are 5 people at EVERY college. They may even be the same person, I couldn't tell you, but I know I have already met them here in my short time.

5. Awkward Cafeteria Kid.
This guy is never with anybody but doesn't want to sit alone in the dining hall. Although there are plenty of under crowded tables, he usually sits at one of the fullest ones with the most attractive girls, as if he has a chance. He generally manages to juggle reading and eating, while never adding anything to the suddenly halted dinner conversations. He sometimes eats with his mouth open or participates in some disturbing eating practice to make his unfortunate victims suddenly lose their already lackluster appetite for dorm food. This guy probably has a rolling backpack and with less words than he came to the table, will suddenly leave toting his noisy choice of bookbag with him.

4. Fat Girl, Skinny Friends.
Ok, everyone deserves friends, and just because you're fat doesn't mean you need to only hang out with fat girls or that you're any less interesting than your more attractive friends. The truth is, most people who have gotten to know this girl really like her personality, and they understand why she has skinnier more attractive friends. However, would it kill those skinny friends to stop letting fatty borrow their clothes? There's no chance they're going to get them back the same size anyways. FAT GIRLS: You cannot wear leggings as pants. I'm not even fat and I know not to wear leggings as pants because I have a pear-body and nobody needs to see that in such immaculate detail. By all means, this girl deserves the wingwomen she has acquired, but she cannot wear the same things rightfully.

3. Guitar Guy
This kid is just too much to be real. He somehow finds a purpose for his guitar in any situation: cafeteria, middle of lecture, on the quad, at a sporting event, at a party, in his living room, etc. He generally wears outrageous clothing, but is not consistent. One day it will be a tie-dye ensemble, and the next a destroyed leather jacket. But the one accessory you can always count on is his guitar case, which is probably empty half the time. The funny thing about this guy is that everyone knows him for his guitar, but nobody has actually ever heard him play. He's clearly in it for the chicks, but shockingly never actually has females anywhere in his vicinity.

2. Heels Girl
This girl can be seen in the dead of winter no matter how thick the blizzard, she'll stick out. No matter the weather, she wears low cut shirts, skirts, and heels. She probably has a ridiculously high ponytail or else perfectly curled hair. She wears makeup an inch thick and constantly looks like she's headed to the club right after class. She stumbles over her stupid footwear and pretends not to see the judging eyes of every female, but you know her confidence is a ploy. After all, if she really thought she was the shit, she'd wear sweats and a winter coat when it's below 0 instead of lingerie.

1. The Party King
When he makes it to his morning classes, he's still wasted. When he makes it to his afternoon classes, he's holding back his vomit and cradling his head in his hands. When he finally wakes up from his hangover, he's already wandering campus inviting people to a "rager." He probably finds names for every day of the week to justify his alcoholism, (Wasted Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, etc.). You spend your days praying you won't see him at a party, and when you do, it's even worse. He will be the one challenging you to shot for shot or a game of "Beirut" (because he insists it's not beer pong unless you use paddles). He is already trashed by about 10pm but insists he can keep drinking, until finally his bros carry him to the bathroom and get their sharpies ready. Sometimes, he hits a second wind after throwing up the first one, and usually spends that by slurring nasty pick up lines at uggoes that are still TOO HOT for him.

I'm sure there are many other ubiquitous college kids that materialize on any campus, but these are the five most prominent ones at Western.