I Tried To Surprise You, I Crept Up Behind You With A Homeless Chihuahua

I think it's time to talk about Hugo.





Hugito. Hugolito. Hug-o. Huggy Bear. Burrito. Boogie Monster. Boogie. Boog. Booger. Boogito. Burrito. Dorito. Bubba Bear. Bubba. Mister Sighs A Lot. Mister Quivers. Scraggle Frockstar. Scraggle. Yoda. Old Man. Sweet Boy. Baldy. Sleepy. Boo. Bastard. Poopy.

Hugo has led a very troubled life. His origins aren't completely known. He might be full chihuahua, he might not. The theory is that his daddy was a Pug who denied Hugo as his son, as he has a curly tail (not a chihuahua feature) and a tendency to attack any Pug he sees. He was about two years old (according to medical evidence assessed by the vet) when my sister, Jenna, adopted him from a chihuahua rescue center in Seattle. Chihuahuas are some of the most commonly abandoned/abused dogs because they are incredibly trendy, but also extremely needy. They are not outdoor dogs and they need a lot of attention or they will pee and poop all over the house. Most people buy them on a whim, with no intention of caring for them. Enter: Hugo, formerly "Paco" before Jenna got to him.


Jenna and Hugo's first holiday together, Halloween. Jenna as "Little Miss Sunshine" and Hugo as a Giant Guinea-Bee ala South Park

When Jenna got Hugo, she wast post-relationship and looking for a companion. I made fun of her mercilessly for choosing, in my early opinion, the shittiest little breed of dog ever. However, when she told me that Hugo had been abused, it definitely made him more endearing, but I was skeptical of his breed in general.

Hugo was raised outdoors with rottweilers, kicked, and starved. This trouble caused him to bald and grey early, to the point where many think he is much older than the four years old that he is today.

But with Jenna, Hugo became happy and comfortable. She took him everywhere.

Jenna's boyfriend hauling Hugo up a mountain


My sister and I have always been close, so after many visits to her place I soon found myself liking Hugo ALMOST as much as she did. But I still found her constant doting and abundance of nicknames to be pretty ridiculous.

That was until he lived with me. Jenna went to Korea to teach English and make money, and Hugo couldn't go with. Hugo is a lover, he attaches himself to one person (previously Jenna) and becomes so devoted to them, that it is hard not to give back the same loyalty. Suddenly, I was Jenna. Plurking on a daily basis pictures or updates, spending 1/3 of all Skype conversations with Jenna talking about him, smiling instantly when I return home to him. He sleeps in the bed, under the covers, and just generally loves me.







Hugo is full of quirks, most of which are irreversible as he is too old for much training and has a brain the size of a lime. Here are a few:

~Begging - Hugo is so small that it is easy for him to snake under your arm or onto your lap while you are eating. On a camping trip, Jenna had to enforce drastic measures to keep him away.


~Aggressiveness - Hugo is not a mean dog by any means. He rarely barks and doesn't even really play with other dogs let alone fight them (except Pugs). However, he has some strange issue with boys getting too close to women. I don't know if he was around domestic abuse in a past life, but he won't lurch at girls for acting affectionately, just boys. He will growl and bite at them, even Jenna's boyfriend Nick, who was around since virtually the beginning of Hugo's life with her, still gets attacked when he goes in for a hug.


~Throaty Noises - Hugo is a chihuahua, and chihuahua's have weak trachea's. This causes Hugo to emit the strangest noises when he sleeps, yawns, or chokes. I don't honestly even know what to compare the noise to, because it is unlike anything I've ever heard. The face he makes is priceless too. Observe.


~Disinterest in Dogs - Hugo loves to play with me. Whenever I give him a treat, he throws it on the ground and gets in play stance until I abide. Sometimes he'll nip at my nose as if to say "play with me." However, he has almost no interest in playing with dogs.



~Struggles in Water - We grew up on Lake Chelan, we boat, and we like our dogs to swim. Hugo swims, about a foot off the surface of the water. He also HATES baths and refuses to pee in the rain.


~Dancing - Hugo can stand on his hind legs for an amazing amount of time. He does it for treats, or attention, and it is adorable.


~Hiding Stuff - Hugo needs to be on "Hoarders." When I give him a treat, he buries it in blankets, as he has no dirt to bury it in. Hugo also does this thing, possibly the funniest of all, where he lodges his treat in his throat so that I can't see it, and tries to hide it secretively. The problem is that he is unhappy about the bone halfway down his throat, so he whines the entire time he looks for an acceptable spot. It is the most ridiculous thing EVER. I have no pictures of it, so here is a generally adorable picture of Hugo.


I never thought I would be one of those people with a small dog, but I accept my role as caretaker until Jenna returns from her Korean Adventure. I love Hugo, and he loves me, and I don't care if I look like Paris Hilton.