Why Don't You Get A Job?

I know we're all sick of hearing about the economy.
"stimulus"
"bail-out"
"recession"
yadda yadda yadda.

I am MORE than aware, every channel in existence, that Americans are poor.
I have learned this the hard way. I started life in a new town this summer, and along with this change I had to give up my tride and true summer job in my home town.

Here in Bellingham, it is seemingly impossible to get a job. The term "poor college student" hasn't even begun to make sense, until now. I thought it was hard to have only $800 FAFSA checks every 3 months, but now I am living in near poverty.

I currently have only $30 in my bank account, a $100 Visa gift card with $25 used up, and a full tank of gas in my car. I have never had less money since I first worked a summer job 3 years ago, and before then my parents still paid for everything.

Tonight, I stayed in and watched "America's Got Talent" because I couldn't afford to go see Transformers 2. This is my life now:

9:00 AM- wake up
9:40 AM- leave for campus
10:00 AM- Comm 220
11:50 AM- class gets out
12:20 PM- return home
12:30 PM- nap
2:00 PM- uselessly drop off resumes, fill out applications, and beg for employment
5:00 PM- eat dinner
6:00 PM- check craigslist for jobs one more time, just in case.
6:30 PM- facebook
9:00 PM- either watch primetime television or watch Breaking Bad on my laptop
11:00 PM- sleep

Now folks, it's not because I'm lazy, this is all I can afford to do. I always thought getting up for work everyday was a drag, but now I wish I had something to occupy my time, because then I would have enough money to see a movie or go to Chelan for the weekend.

Here are some summer employment tips:
1. If you have a job, don't bitch about it. I would gladly switch you places.
2. "We're always accepting applications" means "We're not hiring, but here's a piece of paper you can fill out and waste your time."
3. Don't get your hopes up, even if you're charming, bond with the boss, and feel good about your resume. Chances are, they won't call you back.
4. Don't apply for a retail job if you only have restaurant experience, you have WAY too much competition for that to work.
5. Start stripping or whoring yourself on the corner, that's a recession proof job.
6. You can't be picky about the job you want, then you decrease your chances of 1 in a million to 1 in 5 billion.

Or, you can simply enjoy the finer things in life. Who needs money right?
I mean REALLY, eating, socializing, and having a place to live are completely overrated.

In short, Money can't buy me happiness, but I'm happiest when I have money.