I Tremble... They're Gonna Eat Me Alive

When I was younger, I had night terrors. I would awake in the middle of the night from some half-conscious nightmare that was so real, I would be literally paralyzed with fear. I would hide under my blanket and quiver uncontrollably for hours at a time, until I would finally pass out from exhaustion.

To me, a shiver wasn't something that occurred when it was chilly out, a shiver was part of the routine.

Though the nightmares only come rarely anymore, I still remember the earth-stopping fear that debilitated me as a child. I have since decided that I'm not going to be afraid anymore, and have pulled in the opposite direction. I had a period of time where I lived in a legitimately haunted house, I have become quite the scary movie fiend, and have formed a near obsession with paranormal theories and research. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism, but it seems to be working.

I was beyond excited to watch "Shivers" in class, because even the cheesiest of horror films is delightful to me. I got the impression from the description that the movie would be something similar to "The Faculty," which is one of few "parasite" movies that I have seen. I thought Shivers was a bit more of a frightening idea though, because the people were trapped within this little apartment community. When the Doctor is trying to escape and finally finds a way outside, he realizes that the outside world is no longer safe. In the final scene, it becomes obvious that the parasite will only continue to spread. This was different from The Faculty, because the main character never gets infected, and the people all end up normal in the end.

In Shivers, the images seemed humorous and ridiculous, but the concepts were scary. Not only would it be heartbreaking to have moving lumps in your stomach, but the sexual and forceful nature of spreading the parasite borders on my biggest fear: rape. Some people in class mentioned that once infected, the people seemed happy and that perhaps it's not the worst thing that could have happened. However, having my actions altered by an outside source, whether happy or not, still seems like a loss of soul, something I find to be worthy of my fear.

I think my fears are all based on hypothetical or completely improbable situations. FDR said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." It seems that since I was a little kid, the fear is the biggest parasite of all. it takes over my mind, threatens my happiness, invites itself in.